After finding some old rants on YouTube about the Star Wars saga, my dissatisfaction finally crystalized.
Of course, episodes 1,2,3 are the worst offenders and need to be fundamentally restructured:
- There are Jedi everywhere, not just a small group on Coruscant.
- Most Jedi have families.
- Padawans are not allowed to marry until they graduate and explicitly choose not to be a monk/nun. Only monks and nuns are eligible for seats on the Jedi Council.
- People can enter Jedi training at any age. (This also allows Kenobi to train Luke as a young adult in episode 4.)
- Remove all references to the Prophesy, Django Fett, R2D2, C3P0, Jar Jar Binks, Count Dooku.
With this, the story arc could make sense:
- Palpatine basic strategy remains the same.
- Palpatine notices Anakin because Anakin is simply a very promising padawan.
- In order to corrupt Anakin, Palpatine introduces him to Padme. (She is not a queen.)
- When their relationship is discovered, Anakin is expelled.
- Palpatine uses this to convince Anakin to serve him.
- Palpatine sends Anakin off to kill Jedi to keep Anakin from discovering that Padme is pregnant.
- Padme joins the rebellion. When she gives birth, Kenobi takes Luke to Tatooine. Leia stays with Organa but sometimes sees Padme, which explains Leia could remember her mother in episode 6.
- The war on the Jedi takes years because there are so many of them, but even Jedi cannot survive a war of attrition against an endless army of clones.
- Anakin loses a hand in one fight and receives a severe head wound from a blaster in another fight. Kenobi is not responsible.
- Jabba is involved in rooting out Jedi from star systems controlled by the Hutts. Boba Fett, along with many other bounty hunters, is also involved in hunting Jedi.
- Padme is killed when Leia is 3 or 4. Kenobi eventually realizes that the war will be lost and retires to Tatooine. Similarly, Yoda retires to Dagobah. These are not the only two surviving Jedi, which leaves everything open for episode 7.
At first glance, it seems like episode 4′s climactic battle has far too few tie fighters, but I believe that this can be explained by the Empire’s arrogance. Commander Tarkin was clearly never worried that the rebel fighters would be a problem, so why bother to launch more than a few tie fighters?
Episode 6 needs some adjustments:
- Don’t kill Boba Fett on Tatooine.
- Ewoks should only be forest guides, not combatants.
- The second death star should be destroyed by large bombs detonated at its most incomplete spots.
- Han Solo should die on Endor to save the mission, to match with his earlier feeling that he wouldn’t see the Millenium Falcon again.
I’m looking forward to seeing what happens in episode 7!
